14 February 2025 · By Mandy Forrester
A funeral doesn't have to follow a set script. Over the years I've worked with families to include favourite songs played on a vinyl record player, readings from a loved one's favourite novel, a display of handwritten recipes, and even a moment of laughter — because sometimes laughter is the most loving tribute of all. Here are ten ideas to inspire you.
Music is one of the most powerful ways to bring a person's spirit into a room. It doesn't have to be sombre. I've heard Frank Sinatra, David Bowie, country ballads and even football anthems played at services. If it was their song, it belongs there.
A reading doesn't have to come from a book of poems. It could be a passage from their favourite novel, a few lines from a letter they once wrote, or even a quote they used all the time. Words that were theirs carry enormous weight.
A fishing rod, a set of golf clubs, a beloved recipe book, a garden trowel — physical objects have a way of making the invisible visible. A simple display at the front of the service can say more than a hundred words.
A slideshow or printed display of photographs — across a whole life, not just recent years — allows people to see the person they loved at different ages and stages. It reminds everyone in the room of just how much living was done.
Alongside the celebrant's words, a personal tribute from a friend, colleague or family member adds a unique and intimate dimension to the service. I always support speakers in preparing what they'd like to say.
A quiet pause — perhaps two minutes — gives everyone in the room permission to simply be present with their grief. It can be one of the most moving parts of any ceremony.
Ceremonies don't have to happen in crematoriums or churches. I've conducted services in woodland clearings, village halls, private gardens and even a favourite pub. The venue sets the tone, and there are no rules.
A beautifully designed order of service becomes a keepsake. Include photographs, a favourite quote, or even a recipe. People take these home and treasure them for years.
A tree, a rose bush, a wildflower patch — something living that will grow and return each year. Many families find this a deeply comforting way to mark a life.
There is no rule that says a funeral must be entirely solemn. Ending on a piece of uplifting music, a funny story, or even a toast can leave the room feeling held rather than broken. Grief and joy are not opposites — they are two sides of love.
If you feel I can support you and your family, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
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